Pspsps got a new WIP for yall
#the murderbot diaries #murderbot #mine #tmbd #mb
2024-07-27 06:54:34 GMT
I am having such severe anxiety about the appointment next week and it is devastating that my friend read my message about it and ignored it. When I was clearly in need of support.
I texted her an hour later just to see if she was busy or something and that’s why she didn’t respond, and she wasn’t. She responded right away to the random question I asked. Never even acknowledged our previous conversation and the text that went unanswered, in the middle (I guess end, now) of that conversation. It was intentionally ignored like so many of my other messages, regardless of topic. This one just hurts more.
#I know I should stop reaching out to her about anything medical because she’s been extrmeely shitty about it a few times now #but for reasons I keep thinking this time will be different #I don’t know what the fucking problem is and why she’s being mean in one breath and telling me she loves me in the next #mb
2024-07-27 05:57:43 GMT
The sad part about today is that I woke up before noon and even felt good for a couple hours. But then the crying came back and then the shitty interactions took place and I’ve spent the rest of the day dissociated to fend off the despair but either way it results in me being paralyzed and useless.
Now it’s 2 am and I need to try to sleep but that requires un-dissociating and uuuh I can’t.
#mb
2024-07-27 05:49:38 GMT
Anyway so like a week and a half ago, probably closer to two weeks ago, I painted my nails but switched it up a little. I did two base coats. And then the colour. And then two thin top coats (or at least I was aiming for that, it was hard to tell given that it’s clear).
But.
The polish only chipped for the first time two days ago and the second time only today. My nails have grown out a bit so right by the bed is polish free but that’s entirely new growth. The absence of colour this time is not due to chipping.
Idk if it’s a function of the base coat or top coat changes but somehow I unlocked the secret to making nail polish stay on my nails for longer than 2 days so that’s fun
#ironically the colour is from the fucking dollar store lmao I definitely don’t think it’s a function of the colour #mb
2024-07-27 04:16:08 GMT
resparked motivation to write murderbot fics acquired. and im finally gonna do the Bad Things Happen Bingo card thats pinned on my blog
if you have a request, please let me know!!
#the murderbot diaries #murderbot #mine #tmbd #mb
2024-07-26 05:03:51 GMT
Ya girl has Hashimoto’s disease
#do you think this is enough to qualify me for long term disability seeing as everything else I have is a pre existing condition #mb #hashimoto
2024-07-25 22:32:30 GMT
name moodboard: order for “maia” | want one?
#Barista Lotte #mb #moodboard #name mb #name moodboard #aes #aesthetic
2024-07-25 17:01:37 GMT
Who from bts do you think i am most like? Those who know me a bit more… i feel like ya’ll have thoughts
#mb
2024-07-25 13:24:27 GMT
I think I’m having an autism-induced crisis and I don’t know how to make it stop.
I really need to read up on autism.
It’s just, every time I google it there’s so few resources about adults.
And half the information out there seems entirely made up by people who think they’re autistic but haven’t been diagnosed, and/or believe that their experiences are universal and are therefor autism traits when in reality people can have traits and quirks that are idiosyncratic without it being autistic. It makes it hard to know what’s true and what’s just people making shit up without any evidence beyond their own frame of reference.
It’s annoying and makes it hard to understand what’s happening.
#mb #aia
2024-07-25 06:34:39 GMT
I wish I felt happy for more than a few hours at a time. With days and weeks in between.
#mb #I’m so afraid of people leaving me that I cut off all contact when I get like this #and then I get so fucking lonely it reinforces how much I should just die #but risking abandonment is so much more scary #I can’t function #sleeping pill cocktails
2024-07-25 06:26:08 GMT
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